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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23199127">All-Consuming Love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/straight_up_gay/pseuds/straight_up_gay'>straight_up_gay</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Magnus Archives (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Study, Jonathan Sims' Awkward Attempts To Be Kind, Loneliness, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:13:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>852</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23199127</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/straight_up_gay/pseuds/straight_up_gay</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Was I swayed and drawn simply by the prospect of being genuinely loved? Not loved as you would understand it. A deeper, more primal love. A need as much as a feeling.” </p>
<p>-Statement of Jane Prentiss</p>
<p>(Why did the Corruption take such an interest in Martin?)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>106</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>All-Consuming Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Martin doesn’t tell the whole truth of what happened. Story of his life, really.</p>
<p>He’d rehearsed what he was going to say on the way over, because even after a horrible near-death experience he can’t stop the little part of his brain that’s devoted to thinking about how things look, how he’s presenting himself.</p>
<p>So he tells Jon about the worms, and the boredom, and the isolation, and the sound of Jane Prentiss rapping at his door, and even the peaches.</p>
<p>He tells Jon about everything, except for the singing. </p>
<p>It had started on the third day, when he’d started getting … well, not getting used to the situation, but less immediately terrified. He’d heard low singing, as though it were coming from far away. The funny thing was, he’d been happy to hear it at first. He’d thought it was just one of his neighbours singing to themselves.</p>
<p>He should have known better. Because as the singing had gotten louder, he had realized that it was singing to him. It had been for him, and it had been beautiful, and it had been about love.</p>
<p>There hadn’t been words, or at least there hadn’t been words that he could understand. If he had tried to explain it to Tim or Sasha or, worst of all, Jon, it would have sounded like nonsense. But it had been about love, he knows. A love so whole and real and hungry that it would leave no space in him for loneliness, that would pick him clean and fill up the empty bits inside him so beautifully that he wouldn’t even care about the pain. Love not for what he could do or for what he could pretend to be but for what he <i>was.</i></p>
<p>He’d walked towards the door almost in a trance. He’d slid the deadbolt home, put his hand on the doorknob and twisted until it was almost, almost open. </p>
<p>He might have opened it if it hadn’t been for the little voice in the back of his head telling him it was too good to be true. It had almost certainly saved his life. Still …</p>
<p>Still, it might have been nice to have believed it, you know?</p>
<p>Of course, he doesn’t tell Jon any of this. Jon already thinks … well, Martin wouldn’t have been able to fake his way to where he is today if he couldn’t read basic social cues. He knows what Jon thinks of him, and he doesn’t want to add “almost let a pile of worms into his apartment because he was lonely” to that list. </p>
<p>Jon still frowns when he finishes his story. “You’re sure about all of this, Martin?”</p>
<p>“Look, I’m not going to lie to you about something like this, Jon.” </p>
<p>Well, mostly not.</p>
<p>“Very well. In which case there’s a room in the Archives I use to sleep when working late. I suggest you stay there for now.”</p>
<p>Martin blinks. There’s a pained look on Jon’s face, an expression he doesn’t recognize.</p>
<p>“I’ll talk to Elias about whether we can get extra security, but the Archives have enough locks for now.”</p>
<p>It looks as though Jon is choosing his words very carefully, trying to … to what? Maybe if Martin weren’t so tired and frightened, he’d be able to put it together.</p>
<p>“It’s also supposed to be humidity controlled and, though it hasn’t been working for some time, it does mean it’s well-sealed. Nothing will be sneaking through any window cracks.”</p>
<p>And finally Martin realizes what Jon is trying to do and despite everything, he almost laughs. Because his uptight abrasive perfectionist boss is trying very, very hard to be kind.</p>
<p>“Okay… thanks. To be honest I didn’t, didn’t expect you… to take it seriously.”</p>
<p>Jon looks different like this, not nearly as polished and distant. He’s always been handsome, but Martin had never thought about him like <i>that</i> before. But it’s strangely, deeply endearing to watch him struggle for words like this because he wants to be kind.</p>
<p>It’s not a song, it’s not beautiful. It is in fact painfully awkward to watch and makes it clearer than ever that his boss has certain limits in the social skills department. But it fills the place inside Martin that had been left empty when the singing stopped. </p>
<p>Because, see, it had gone on for so long. It hadn’t stopped the whole time Jane Prentiss had been outside of his apartment, even when he’d covered his ears with all the pillows he had. And when it had finally stopped, he’d felt … bereft, as though he had lost something important, something he could never get back.</p>
<p>But Jon’s awkward concern makes the ache smaller.</p>
<p>When he leaves the office, Jon gives him a stiff, uncomfortable nod. Martin thinks for a moment about what it would be like to smooth a thumb over that firm mouth and watch it melt, relax.</p>
<p>It’s stupid, really. It’s a stupid little crush, and a stupid little thing to have a crush over, just a little measure of kindness. But, well …</p>
<p>Well, after all, there are worse things to be consumed by.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hi everyone tumblr user archivistbottles wrote <a href="https://archivistbottles.tumblr.com/post/612507140924588032/archivistbottles-man-its-likeso-fucked-up-how">a gr8 post </a> about the Corruption being drawn to Martin for the same reason it was drawn to Jane Prentiss: because she was desperately lonely. </p>
<p>The idea of Martin listening to the Corruption’s song when he was trapped in his flat for two weeks took me out at the fucking kneecaps, and all the scenes with Jon trying to be kind to people despite his general abrasiveness and lack of social skills make me Feel Things, and so here we fucking are.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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